Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

Plot Synopsis: I did not finish this book. After 2 weeks, I'd only read a quarter of the book because I hated it so much. The plot, from what I read, is as follows: Hiro Protagonist, a pizza delivery man for a mafia-owned pizza company, has a bad day when he receives a pizza that must be delivered in 10 minutes (OR ELSE!). Thankfully, an annoying skateboard kourier (courier) named Y.T. saves the day (sort of). Hiro ends up unemployed and being the hacker he is, spends time in the Metaverse, a virtual reality universe where he is one of the elite. Inside the Metaverse, he is offered a drug called Snow-Crash, but doesn't take it. But his friend does and then things get weird...

Literary Analysis: Is Mr. Stephenson playing with the reader by naming his character Hiro Protagonist? It's quite the symbolic name and there is no way to overlook such a detail. Y.T. also has a strange name, especially considering the importance of race through the part of the novel I managed to read. Hiro is part Nipponese/ part New South African (?). Y.T. is "whitey." Uh huh. [Note: Y.T. is supposed to stand for Yours Truly.]

Stephenson's writing is very stylistic. Most sentences are colloquial and incomplete to give it that futuristic, cool cat vibe. After all, the world in which the novel is set is quite unique with many aspects of our world changed into strange, grotesque corporate entities. The CIA for example is now the CIC (Central Intelligence Corporation). "Burbclaves" is the term Stephenson uses for suburbs, which are owned by corporations, only allowing certain people in and out, having serious landscape regulations, and even hiring their own security contractors...who then turn any apprehended criminals to other corporations (The Clink or the more refined Hooskow).

The plot is woven through two oscillating character focuses. At first, readers glimpse into Hiro's conflicts...then Y.T.'s...then back to Hiro's again. Their stories converge, separate, and eventually converge again, but the conflict is difficult to pinpoint. The author consistently puts out new vocabulary terms, but their definitions are unclear (perhaps on purpose). Other characters are introduced, but are not really developed until pages after their first introduction.

Personal Reaction: This is one of my husband's favorite books. He loves science fiction and thought this book would be great to introduce me to the world of "cyberpunk" novels. But I hated it! I spent at least an hour every day reading this book and I barely made it a quarter of the way through after two weeks. That's an atrocious statistic for a voracious reader like myself! As I skimmed through other reviews on Goodreads, I realized this book is in the "hit or miss" category. There are some people who think it's phenomenal and others, like me, who "don't get it."

So what's wrong with Snow Crash? My husband would ask me, "Where are you in the book?" And I'd respond, "Hiro is delivering a pizza..." And that's the first 10% of the book, which my husband said is NOT the plot. Huh? So why spend so much time on every little detail of Hiro's car, the burbclave, the way he tries to knock Y.T. off? That's what I hated most about this book - whatever conflict there was, it wasn't interesting. Delivering a pizza with some serious consequences about it being late is DUMB. Y.T. attaching her skateboard to a minivan in a burbclave and getting arrested is DUMB. Even the Metaverse and Hiro's sword fight with some Nipponese businessman is just plain DUMB.

And my husband assured me "That's not the plot." Okay, then why doesn't the author just GET ON WITH IT!?

The second problem with this novel is Stephenson's colloquial writing. As a secondary English teacher, I've read my fair share of young adult novels. Snow Crash is a great book for ADHD kids and I mean that in the kindest way! Stephenson bounces around in his writing. Every paragraph is a tangent from the previous one. It's great for those readers who get bored very easily and need distractions every other paragraph. However, don't expect things to line up after reading all of Stephenson's diversions. The tangents are so far out there, you'll forget what the hell is going on (if anything is going on at all).

On top of that, the incomplete sentences are supposed to be cool and trendy. I found them as likable as being in the backseat with someone who'd never driven before, constantly slamming on the brakes whenever the needle on the speedometer went over 10mph. The extremely jolty writing did not move me through the story...whatever story there was to be told. Even Stephenson's lingo - his made-up words and crazy names - stunt the speed at which you can read this book. I mean, really, how do you internalize a name like Da5id? I've seen crazy names before and I personally hate when authors go out of their way to select an unpronounceable name. So when I saw Da5id appear on the page, I cringed. As if I didn't have enough emotional baggage against an author using the name Hiro Protagonist for his...ugh...protagonist.

Final Rating: 2/10. I'll give this book some credit for an interesting interpretation of a futuristic world. But that's it. This book was a slow, painful read and I'm glad I've moved on to a better book.

Fifty Shades Darker by E.L. James

Plot Synopsis: Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey's topsy-turvy relationship continues in the second book of the Fifty Shades trilogy. As Ana tries to understand where their relationship is going, Christian tackles his demons head-on to stay with the woman he loves. In the meanwhile, the other women in Christian's life begin threatening the delicate threads of his tentative relationship with Ana. Will Ana and Christian be able to survive both the pressures in and out of their union?

Literary Analysis: Unlike Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker sticks to one single plot line, leaving the reader to simply focus on Ana and Christian. Christian's character has completely changed since the first book. Once a strong, forceful man, now he is portrayed as a groveling, romantic whimp. There is a reason for his change of character, but it may leave some readers unsatisfied. Ana's character lacks continuity from the first novel, and unlike Christian, her change is not justified. It's hard to believe she'd suddenly want Christian to whip and spank her when that's the very reason she left him the first time. It is she who eggs on Christian's deviant side and that's the side she doesn't like (but of course, when it's happening, she likes it). It will leave readers confused and unable to trust the narrator. Her true feelings are not fully expressed, despite pages and pages of internal processing.

Personal Reaction: Let me express how hard it was to write the plot synopsis for this novel. Unlike its predecessor, Fifty Shades Darker lacks tension. Someone may argue that Leila's lurking creates suspense, but it's pushed so far into the background of this story that it was hardly on my radar when Leila actually appeared. Don't worry - I don't think I could spoil anything in this story -- there's nothing to spoil. So if you're still interested in reading this book, you're safe reading this review. Most of the book amounts to Ana's and Christian's sexual escapades. Sure, at first, it's exciting, but once you begin reading about the 5th time they've had sex in one day, it gets rather annoying. The sex is all the same, right down to the lines E.L. James uses to describe it. Who cares if they do it in Christian's bedroom, a boathouse, or on a pool table? The location has changed, but it's all the same "heady stuff."

The rest of the novel contains rather boring events - Ana teasing Christian via e-mail, Ana going to work, Ana and Christian on a yacht, Ana and Christian at a charity event... what's next, taking the subway? Anything of interest is revealed only after painstakingly reading through more sexcapades and will mostlikely be mentioned in a few casual lines at the end of a chapter.  Even the end of the novel, which supposedly makes you want to read the last book of the trilogy, isn't all that interesting. You just think, "Okay, so?"

Needless to say, I will pass on reading Fifty Shades Freed. There are no more secrets to be revealed and I refuse to be burdened by one confused, self-sabotaging character who always needs rescuing and one once strong, now pussywhipped (oh yes, I went there...) character. Forget it.

Final Rating: 5/10 - Boring plot line, annoying characters, excessive sex scenes, and repetitive descriptive vocabulary all contribute to the average rating of this book. For anyone considering reading it, I'd say save yourself some time and just read a spoiler summary of the next two books in the series. It's just not worth it.

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

Plot Synopsis: When Anastasia Steele interviews wealthy, young entrepreneur Christian Grey for the college newspaper, she thinks that this is all that will come of them. But Christian keeps appearing in her life - from a visit to the hardware store where she works to a drunken night at the bar. Ana is intrigued by this powerful man, but she got more than she bargained for when she discovers Christian wants her to be his submissive for their sexual pleasure. Yet Ana is so caught up in the mystery and intrigue of Christian Grey, she follows through with his proposal and so begins their mercurial relationship. Can Ana, a regular shy bookworm, really handle being dominated and pleasured by famous, super-rich, super-refined CEO Christian Grey? Is this really what she wants in a relationship?

Literary Analysis:  It's hard to say why Fifty Shades of Grey became a bestseller. Erotica has been around for ages, so why does this piece get picked out of thousands to be graciously published as "romantic fiction"?  Well, Fifty Shades started out as a Twilight fanfiction story called Master of the Universe. Cheesy, right? After being flagged as sexually explicit and removed from fanfiction.net, James put it up on her own website. The viewership kept growing and finally, a publisher picked it up. The story got a new title and character names were changed. Bella became Anastasia and Edward became Christian. So, Fifty Shades of Grey is the adult version of Twilight and putting sex in with a best-selling series simply draws a crowd! The crowd hypes the story and suddenly, you have a massive bestseller on your hands.

Understanding the story's history and evolution makes it easier to understand why this book is awful from a literary standpoint. For a girl who is supposed to be an English major, Ana has a limited vocabulary to describe everything she is feeling. Yet, even though attention to word choice is sadly lacking, the characters are well developed through their thoughts and minute actions. That is to be expected if the author is simply borrowing already developed characters from another set of novels (very convenient). The plot is loose since the conflict lacks real depth. At any time, Ana can walk away and the problem is solved. Or Christian will open his eyes and see that they're not compatible and never will be (or that he's screwed up and needs a better therapist). But Ana is a terribly self-deprecating woman who enjoys making things more complicated than they should  be. That, and the mystery of Christian's background continue to propel the reader forward, always wondering what new factoid will be revealed.

Personal Reaction: Ugh, I hate this book. I hate it so much I love it. Does that make sense? Unlike Hopeless' cheese factor, this book has an unnerving weird factor to it. I think it has something to do with the vocabulary used to describe everything. When Anastasia is amazed or entranced by Christian, she says, "Oh my..." Oh my? Really? What woman looks at a good-looking man and says, "Oh my!" Maybe southern belles in the 1850s, definintely NOT in modern times, and definitely NOT in Seattle (where the story is set).  Next, Ana describes everything Christian does to her as making her feel "delicious." Ugh. Cheesecake is delicious. Fettuccine alfredo is delicious. Someone kissing your neck is NOT delicious.

In fact, let's discuss the sex scenes. So many sex scenes... that are so random, so cringe-worthy, whether or not they involve the Red Room of Pain. Most of what Christian says during these moments is downright unrealistic. No man would ever utter these words. "I'm in awe of you, Miss Steele." UGH! And Ana at these moments is just as intolerable. She keeps describing what her Inner Goddess is doing - hiding behind the couch, doing summersaults - it's WEIRD. She needs therapy or some drugs to keep her schizophrenia in check. On top of all this is the sexual tension between the characters constantly being described as a "heady cocktail" or "heady mix..." Heady, heady, heady...I have learned to despise this word and I feel sick every time my eyes see it on the page. And finally on the topic of sex, why is biting one's lower lip a turn on? Sure, Bella does it in Twilight, but seriously - who bites their lower lip? I've never seen anyone do it...ever. It's an uncommon action and referenced far too much in this novel.

There is too much space used in Fifty Shades of Grey to describe what Christian is wearing. He pretty much always wears the same thing, so why is it so crucial to continue to tell the reader that he's (once again) wearing a white linen shirt, black jeans, and a gray/black jacket? Oh, I'm sorry - sometimes he's wearing gray sweatpants that hang "deliciously loose" on his hips. Oh my... I wish the editor of this book would have given E.L. James a heads up and eliminated these repetitive clothing descriptions.

My last real problem is Ana's issue with food. Christian is big on making sure Ana eats, but she's never hungry (unless she's hungry for sex) and when she eats, she barely eats anything. There are no explanations as to why Ana is never hungry, but this anorexic undertone is almost more disturbing than the sex descriptions! Even I'm cheering for Christian, hoping he'll tie her to the rack and force feed her. Eat something, damn it! A little more than 3 oysters!

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, I still (embarrassingly) enjoyed this book. There is something captivating about it. I want to know what Christian is hiding - why he doesn't like being touched, what his issue with food is, why Elena did what she did with him... I don't like not knowing something and I'm driven to continue reading because of it. Secondly, some things remind me of my own relationship with my husband and as I read in bed, I looked over at him and realized how happy I was that he likes holding me close and how much I enjoy the way he smiles when he looks at me. Even the back and forth e-mails made me remember how we used to do that when we first started dating. Perhaps it's that feeling that makes me love this book. If a book can intrigue you AND remind you of how good you have it, wouldn't you label that as a success?

Final Rating: 8/10. I must deduct points for poor, embarrassing descriptions and annoying characters, but damned if I didn't enjoy reading this book to the point that I immediately dived into Fifty Shades Darker.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - by Philip K. Dick

Plot Synopsis: Set in the future, Earth has become a rather dismal place due to nuclear war and the subsequent nuclear fallout. Most animals are extinct, but those that exist are bought at an exorbitant price and are a sign of status in this new society. While most Earthlings have left the planet to live on Mars and other colonies, those that have stayed cling to Mercerism (a type of religion?) to help them cope with loneliness.The novel follows the lives of two people - Rick Deckard, a bounty hunter, who hunts human-like robots known as androids. Androids are banned on Earth, because they are used as slave labor off-planet and have had tendencies to kill their human masters. Then there's John Isidore, a man whose intelligence has been slowly fading due to the fallout. Rick and John's lives converge when Rick begins hunting a list of androids, some of whom take refuge in John's company.

Literary Analysis: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? was originally a short story that Philip K. Dick expanded into a novel. It feels that way. Whole chapters are reserved for character development, as if Dick's idea of making a short story into a novel only entails adding more detail without regard to the plot. Some details, such as Mercerism, are left ambiguous to the reader even though they take up considerable space in the span of the story. The plot is one-note. There are no sub-plots. The setting is wildly interesting, yet Dick devotes most of his attention to characters, rather than the more interesting world around them.

Personal Reaction: The old 1982 movie Blade Runner is based off of this book. While the plot concept is interesting, the execution  has something to be desired. The fact that there is only one plot line really makes the reading slow going, particularly chapters that have nothing to do with the plot at all. Buying scarce animals is interesting, but it has no impact on the story. Mercerism infiltrates all parts of the story, but is never fully explained in black and white...or even gray for that matter...and so the end of the novel is disappointing if not confusing. I love dystopian novels. I love nuclear war aftermath type stories, but this one is so caught up in the mundane plot that it sadly doesn't go into more detail about the interesting world that it is supposed to be set in.

Final Rating: 6/10 - A slow read (until the end...), a shallow plot, lack of detail when it comes to the setting, and missing definitions of crucial components in the story all contribute to the 6/10 rating. Again, the story has a great concept, but a poor execution.

Hopeless by Colleen Hoover

Plot Synopsis: Seventeen year old Sky has lived a pretty sheltered life. Her adopted mother does not believe in technology and homeschools Sky until her senior year. After her first day in public school, Sky has a chance encounter at the grocery store with Holder, a handsome boy with a violent reputation. Something about Holder makes the usually composed Sky jittery and yet excited. They slowly become closer with one another and this begins opening an avalanche of truths about Sky's life that she could never have imagined...

Literary Analysis: Colleen Hoover is an over-analyst  The story is told in first person through Sky's eyes and the amount of detail that goes into Sky's thought processes and subtle movements can be overwhelming. Nonetheless, there's something wonderful about that over-analyzing that makes the reader understand why Sky does what she does and it's fun to see her put the pieces together. There are a few ends that are tied a little too easily together, when the reader will react with a, "Really? That's it?! How convenient!" Yet, the story moves forward, particulary 60% in when things get very interesting...

Personal Reaction: I'll be honest - I didn't realize this was an adolescent novel. I'd say it's for 16 year olds and up since there are a few parts of the novel I'd label "soft erotica." There's a cheesy factor in this book that was really hard for me to overlook. There's a lot of neck kissing...too much neck kissing. Too many hands caressing faces. Too many awkward moments that made me cringe for Sky...and even more for Holder, who has to deal with this crazy teenage girl! Too many descriptions of Holder rubbing the back of his neck and running his hands through his hair. It's cheesy! Another part I hate is when authors, who clearly love books, create characters who really love books to the point that they don't even live in the real world. Sky declares, "I need a chapter break," when she wishes life would just stop. UGH. It's like writing a book about writing a book or a movie about making a movie. It's weird. You shouldn't do it. Yet, I read the book in 5 days (at leisure) and I was intrigued by the plotline. The ending is a "happily ever after" despite Sky claiming, "This isn't going to be a happily ever after..." Okay, whatever - everything seems fine to me, so what's the problem?

Final Rating: 6/10. Points were deducted for the cheesy factor, the convenient resolutions to certain plotlines, and a somewhat psychotic narrator.

Swan Song by Robert R. McCammon

Plot Synopsis: The U.S. and Russia are headed towards nuclear war, only, unlike in real life, the worst did occur--the bombs were dropped. Enter in a host of memorable characters: Sister Creep, a "bag lady" who magically survives the ordeal by sleeping in a subway tunnel; Swan, a little girl with a green thumb and a trailer trash mother; Roland Croninger, a video game, gun enthusiast who just happens to have a survivalist father. There are many more characters and their plight after the nuclear disaster is told in bits and pieces. How do they survive a 7 year nuclear winter? And how will they survive when the greatest evil hasn't even fallen yet?

Literary Analysis: Swan Song is an exceptionally complex novel. Complex in a good way. The way McCammon weaves the stories of a number of characters together is truly a phenomenal feat. Despite the sheer amount of characters being followed chapter after chapter, there's really no need to create a list to keep them all straight. Each character is described memorably enough that it's quite easy to remember who each of them are. The chapters always end with a suspenseful grip that keeps you reading and wanting more.

Personal Reaction: Did I mention that Swan Song is almost 900 pages? I blew through this novel in about a week, because it was just so interesting. One part of the book that caught me off guard was the magical/fantasy elements. I had read the summary and said, "Okay, sounds good." I was expecting something along the lines of The Road, except with a female heroine. But this was not that novel. For example, (don't worry, no spoilers here), Sister Creep finds a circle of glass with jewels inside of it...supposedly a product of the nuclear blast on a glass/jewelry store. Okay, so this glass is pretty and valuable (if money means anything after nuclear armageddon), but then Sister holds the glass and the jewels pulse in color and brightness and she "dreamwalks" to where Swan is at a given moment. This is weird. I understand it's being used as a means to get Sister and Swan to one day meet up,  but it's still quite strange. There are other examples of magic, but that would spoil the plot...really, what I'm trying to get it is that it's unusual for a book that seems to take the effects of nuclear war so seriously.

Final Rating: 8/10 - Subtracting 1 point for using magical elements that really seem rather unnecessary in the grand scheme of things and 1 point for some rather bland chapters which lead to the book's whopping 900 pages.

Catching Fire - 7/10

I suppose Suzanne Collins did something right with The Hunger Games, because I did end up purchasing the second book of the trilogy. I definitely wanted to know what happens next! After all, isn't that a sign of a good book? When you're disappointed that it's over, but lo and behold, there's a sequel to answer all your questions?

Catching Fire, however, is a book that answers questions with more questions. Of course. Suzanne Collins wasn't going to let me just buy 2 out of the 3 books, right? The sequel, like it's predecessor, suffers from too much "fluff." This time, I had to read 60% of the book until finally they're back in the arena. And that 60% is filled with too many characters (did you really expect me to keep 24 characters, plus those on the outskirts, straight? Seriously?) and meaningless action (if you can call tying knots and talking to Cinna "action"). Does the author have some sort of page quota or something to fill? Because the first half of the book was just ridiculous. I agree, there does have to be some character development, but this was overkill.

However, once the Quarter Quell begins, there is some mystery to be had regarding alliances. Again, the story is plagued by characters I needed to look up on the Hunger Games Wiki (website) to recall. Now remember, I read this book RIGHT AFTER The Hunger Games. It's not like I took a hiatus. So, there should be no reason for me to have to look up who's who, but of course, the author brings names back from the dead as if I'm supposed to remember this important character she's only mentioned once before. Like Johanna, who ends up being a semi-main character during the Quarter Quell, but you only meet her once before.

(No spoilers, don't worry)And then, there's the rushed ending. As an English teacher, I always tell my students whenever they need to write creatively, "Don't tell me. SHOW ME." Suzanne Collins didn't get that memo. The ending amounts to 3 lines explaining everything that happened. Oh. Okay. Thanks, Haymitch. Yes, the ending is a bombshell...and YES, I've already purchased Book 3. But why does the ending seem so rushed?! Maybe there is, in fact, a page quota and the author thought, "Whoops! I spent too much time discussing what happens before the Quell. Guess I'll just sum up what's happening really quickly since I only have 10 more pages left!" Surely things could be described better than they were. Of course, I knew this was going to happen. When I was at 93% on my Kindle with seemingly no end in sight, I knew something wasn't going to sit well in my stomach. And I was right.

The above are my criticisms, hence the 7/10 rating. Nonetheless, it was an interesting book to read. I kept reading because the author eloquently ends chapters that force you to keep going, wanting more. Despite the medley of names, it was still an easy read, smooth, simple sentences that push you forward into the plot. And let's face it, the subject and storyline are quite interesting!! Kids fighting to the death, an all-powerful government that tortures its people...it's superbly dystopian!

Well, see you in another month or two when I finish Book 3: Mockingjay.